A Lesson About Love

Photo by Courtney J Photography.

Photo by Courtney J Photography.

Your Voice Contributor

Recently, my fiancée, Lindsey, and I did the Engaged Encounter for her church. This was mandatory; I had to be dragged to it kicking and screaming. What else was there to learn?  It will be 10 years on March 27; we’re getting married in July. Clearly, we’ve got this. I love my fiancée. I talk about how much we’re in love, but what does that mean? What is love?

Ultimately, I think love is something that everyone needs to figure out for themselves. Even after all this time, I still can’t accurately define it. Since that sounds like such a male cop-out, I will try and redeem myself and share with you some of the things that I have learned over the last 10 years.

First, two people don’t always fall in love at the same time. For me, it was love at first sight. I can still remember the first time I was able to make Lindsey laugh. That moment will forever be burned into my mind because it was at the exact moment when I fell hopelessly in love. Unfortunately, it took Lindsey a bit more time. Not that I blame her. We were both 17 years old and I was, well, let’s just say a bit awkward. Someday I hope to grow out of that awkward stage.

The second thing about love that I have learned over the years is that it not only takes a lot of work, it also takes a lot of forgiveness. Whoever said, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” was full of it. I say “I’m sorry” on a daily basis. It’s almost my default response. The hardest part for me has been forgiveness.

I know I’m not perfect, and that I am going to screw up even with the best of intentions. I know this about myself, but I don’t always apply this to her. In my mind, she’s perfect. It’s that slow realization that she’s human too and capable of mistakes that has made saying, “I forgive you” a challenge. I tend to hold a grudge, so on the rare occasion that she forgets to do something or fails to listen to something I think is important, I tend to make a big deal about it. Learning to address the issue and really forgiving and forgetting has been a challenge, but one I accept.

Lastly, I’ve learned I am a better person because of her. She doesn’t instantly make me better, although there are those that would argue that. She inspires me to be better than I am, to constantly try to better myself. The beauty of love, though, is that, should I fail, I know she will love me for the mildly amusing, sometimes embarrassing hunk of a man that I am.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Lindsey. Even though I can’t define it, I love you. I look forward to spending a lifetime figuring it out with you.

Jesse Rasmussen is the Plucky Sidekick on the Lambert and Lindsey Morning show on 102.3 The Max. He’s a New Albany native and can often be found in a Captain America costume and Green Lantern ring, and with his fiancée, Lindsey. Follow him on Twitter @JesseRas and Facebook Jesse2themax.