By JESSE RASMUSSEN
Your Voice Contributor
Recently, my fiancÃ©e, Lindsey, and I did the Engaged Encounter for her church. This was mandatory; I had to be dragged to it kicking and screaming. What else was there to learn?Â It will be 10 years on March 27; weâ€™re getting married in July. Clearly, weâ€™ve got this. I love my fiancÃ©e. I talk about how much weâ€™re in love, but what does that mean? What is love?
Ultimately, I think love is something that everyone needs to figure out for themselves. Even after all this time, I still canâ€™t accurately define it. Since that sounds like such a male cop-out, I will try and redeem myself and share with you some of the things that I have learned over the last 10 years.
First, two people donâ€™t always fall in love at the same time. For me, it was love at first sight. I can still remember the first time I was able to make Lindsey laugh. That moment will forever be burned into my mind because it was at the exact moment when I fell hopelessly in love. Unfortunately, it took Lindsey a bit more time. Not that I blame her. We were both 17 years old and I was, well, letâ€™s just say a bit awkward. Someday I hope to grow out of that awkward stage.
The second thing about love that I have learned over the years is that it not only takes a lot of work, it also takes a lot of forgiveness. Whoever said, â€œLove means never having to say youâ€™re sorryâ€ was full of it. I say â€œIâ€™m sorryâ€ on a daily basis. Itâ€™s almost my default response. The hardest part for me has been forgiveness.
I know Iâ€™m not perfect, and that I am going to screw up even with the best of intentions. I know this about myself, but I donâ€™t always apply this to her. In my mind, sheâ€™s perfect. Itâ€™s that slow realization that sheâ€™s human too and capable of mistakes that has made saying, â€œI forgive youâ€ a challenge. I tend to hold a grudge, so on the rare occasion that she forgets to do something or fails to listen to something I think is important, I tend to make a big deal about it. Learning to address the issue and really forgiving and forgetting has been a challenge, but one I accept.
Lastly, Iâ€™ve learned I am a better person because of her. She doesnâ€™t instantly make me better, although there are those that would argue that. She inspires me to be better than I am, to constantly try to better myself. The beauty of love, though, is that, should I fail, I know she will love me for the mildly amusing, sometimes embarrassing hunk of a man that I am.
Happy Valentineâ€™s Day, Lindsey. Even though I canâ€™t define it, I love you. I look forward to spending a lifetime figuring it out with you.
Jesse Rasmussen is the Plucky Sidekick on the Lambert and Lindsey Morning show on 102.3 The Max. Heâ€™s a New Albany native and can often be found in a Captain America costume and Green Lantern ring, and with his fiancÃ©e, Lindsey. Follow him on Twitter @JesseRas and Facebook Jesse2themax.